What is the meaning of life?

Before we answer the question “what is the meaning of life?” we must first ask ourselves, why the fuck do we care? If you think about it there’s one of two options: 1 -There is a meaning of life or 2 – There isn’t. If there is a meaning to life there’s nothing we can do about it, it’s predetermined.  We’re doing whatever we’d usually do and are unknowingly carrying out our “purpose” simultaneously. If we have no purpose, then we’re all individuals doing our own thing for our own reasons. It essentially makes no difference whether we have meaning or not.

What could the meaning be?


Although it’s not a nice answer, from a biological point of view you could probably argue that every animal’s sole purpose is to have sex with another animal and then to make sure their kid lives long enough to do the same. We’re just here to make sure that our DNA gets passed on, like some sort of sperm and egg filled delivery vans. Then what’s the point in passing on our genes, what’s the end goal? Well I think scientifically speaking everything that’s living on earth is just a freak accident, so we have no overall purpose as a species, we just came into being through a right place right time kind of deal and now we’re all just doing what we want but we’re ultimately controlled by biology.


Let’s say for a minute that there is a God and he made us in his image and he keeps us entertained. Religion gives a lot a people an answer to this question, we’re here because God put us here, our lives are for us to form a relationship with God and to prove that we’re worthy of going up to heaven and doing heaven stuff.  Okay, this is a really good answer to the question if you’re religious but even if you are surely it’s a bit annoying to think that we’re here to spend our lives proving ourselves worthy of a relationship with some guy that doesn’t even show up. It’s like getting stood up on a date but then having to stay in the restaurant because you want to prove that you’d be a good partner if they had shown up. So, our purpose on Earth is to follow rules written by a fruity bearded guy around two thousand years ago, given to him by a bigger, fruitier guy with an even bigger beard and then by doing this we get given eternal happiness, this doesn’t sound like a bad trade.


This is where it’s actually fun and I take back everything I said about not caring if we have a purpose because I 100% want this to be the meaning of life. Somewhere in some universe there’s a group of “people” sat around a computer watching me trying to cut all the circulation to my finger off with a rubber band for the second time in one day, thinking “we evolved to be so intelligent that we could make a planet-sized computer that was capable of producing simulated people with a full range of behaviour, thought and emotion and this fucker’s about to cut his own fingers off.” The whole reason that we’re here is that we were made by an advanced civilisation to be observed. All we are is a game of Sims that somebody has spent far too much time playing. Only our creators know our end goal and unless somebody pulls a Truman Show type stunt and talks to them we’ll never find out.

A girl sat in Costa wearing a beret and glasses with no lenses

“We give our own lives meaning, we live, laugh and love.” And then probably something about avocado or pizza.

So what’s the answer?

In my eyes, this is a simple one: it doesn’t matter. I couldn’t care less if I’m here for a reason or not. I’m happy just being here and seeing what happens.  As pop godess, Madonna once famously said “life is a mystery”, and who are we to question her.


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